I cannot fall asleep when you’re not around to say goodnight. I find myself leaning on music, and writing words that I feel on every song. I find it funny that I am in the predicament, that I am in love with someone, yet I am falling out of love with the same person at the same time, yet I am not in love with the notion to love, just spun around writing about it.

 You always make it better, and you always make me right. They’d never understand. But it’s alright. 

Konnichiwa.
Watashi wa Ashika desu.
Doozo yoro shiku.

Sayoonara.
/fly

(jap lesson #1 today, grad ceremony from SP tmr)

he's back after the 5 weeks shithappenslifedrama. im dying on the inside having to hold back and be disinterested.

We started when we shouldn't, and though I said we should end for the better of us all, it just feels like a whole part of us is hanging upside down, on a thin thread. And it would be more sane for us to land two feet on the ground now, before the blood rushes to our head, and with tomato-red faces and seeing the sky green and the grass blue, that we might grow accustomed to, like how we grew on each other with time, I guess I want to fake trip and fall, and tell you while being bruised inside out, that I am done. It's tough to end anything when you are on the peak, and especially when you glow like you do, talk like you do, smell like you should, laugh like how you would.. everything is a tough rut, but I got a feeling that we collide next time we still have secrets in our eyes.

There are probably a thousand eyes watching and waiting for us to happen. He looks good, smells great, dresses well, speaks nice, treats me right... It is like a million right(s) to get together, but we're dabbling with laying below the radar, just because.